Living with an open heart

Living with an open heart can be very hard.  I am still working on it. Especially when there is so much fear and anger circulating in the world today. Everywhere you look fear is growing, and it appears to be gaining momentum and turning to anger in many.

“Fear left unchecked, can spread like a virus” Lish McBride

I know myself that Fear needs to be felt and resolved. Otherwise, it can overwhelm and consume me, replaying itself over and over. It is my biggest trigger and can consume me if left unchecked. I have learned to simply allow it to flood me, and sit with it until it has dissipated. Not allowing it the power it once had over me.

But I promised her that I would honor the gentle soul that she is, and therefore I  have to find the courage to do so.

I often chastised her for being so gentle, feeling so much. It scared me frankly. I felt as though, I would lose control if I allowed it to continue. I think many of us feel this way, particularly if we are sensitive or empathetic.

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Awakening to your hearts burdens

Each time since early childhood when we stopped the flow of energy in a painful event, we froze that event in both energy and time.

The thing about this is that I am an incredibly private person. This bearing the details of my life is so very foreign and uncomfortable for me. I know for certain that I am not the only one that suffered a trauma or was abandoned by a parent as a child. I also know that we carry shame about these occurrences and that is what drives me to want to talk about it. So I have decided that I need to be brave enough to share my story so that others who have had similar experiences can potentially learn from my journey. If the sharing of what I have learned saves even one person from carrying shame that does not belong to them, then it will have been worth it for me.

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Committing to Vulnerability

Vulnerability is difficult for those of us that have been sheltering our hearts. But it opens up a whole new world of richer relationships when it is allowed.

I have a confession, this little initiative of mine has a secondary purpose of forcing me to express my emotions, some of which have been bottled up for years and embracing what is most uncomfortable for me – Vulnerability.

Putting  Finding my inner child out there was my first exercise, in exposing a little piece of me. To say it was uncomfortable for me is a tremendous understatement. Will they think that I am coming apart at the seams, I worried? Will they think that the rock is crumbling? All of these thoughts roamed through my head, and when I published the post and there was no turning back my emotions ranged from tremendous fear to uncomfortable resignation.

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