FEAR

When we don’t let the FEAR move through us, it can take hold with a vice grip.

It was a beautiful sunny day as we headed out for our walk.. I could feel her skipping along beside me as we walked. For some reason it was annoying me. I allowed this for a time, and then I said “you know we have to get back to work”. “We took time off to look after Mom but this can’t go on forever. I have allowed you to have some time off, but now it is time to get back to it.”

I heard an incredulous voice say, “You call that time off”.

I ignored it. I was filled with agitation and had been applying for jobs, but there was an economic downturn where I lived. Even though I was sending out resumes, there were not a lot of bites. If I got an interview, I felt as though my heart wasn’t in it. I knew even in the interviews that I wasn’t giving it my all, but somehow I felt powerless. It was such an uncommon feeling for me, I was usually able to pull it together on command, but I have to say I was really struggling.

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