How about this year, we start with Self Love being a priority?
Just make a decision to put ourselves and our healing first. What if we decided that we would only allow into our lives those that lifted us up, at least for a time. Until we were feeling stronger and able to direct our lives the way that we wanted. Would it be that hard, to simply make the choice to ‘choose ourselves’?
We walk through life not feeling like we have a choice about who we let in. I know when I was younger, I did not feel that limiting family access to my life was an option. The opinions of others held more weight than was comfortable. I know differently now. It is an option, if not a necessity.
The reality is, when we were young, we did not have the ability to limit the things that were occurring around us. We were living under the constraints of our environments. We established beliefs based on our experiences, that we had no control over. Read that sentence again, and then again.
Some of these beliefs may serve us well, and some may not. But as we enter adulthood, at some point in time we have to take over the reins of control over our thoughts, beliefs and feelings. I found the most helpful thing for me was to learn to sit back as a silent observer to my own thoughts, as I described in The Seat of my Soul has a sense of humor. It really helped me to understand myself better, and see what kind of craziness was swirling around in my head. It also helped me establish when I was not being a very supportive friend to myself.
Learning to sit with my feelings and fears, no matter how uncomfortable they might be as they came up and just allow them to wash over me. I needed to have the strength to stay with them until they dissipated.
Understanding and feeling some compassion for the journey that I had travelled was also key, so that I could feel some compassion for myself.
The reality is as far as we know, we are given one opportunity to live life. Why not make it one of our own making?
Otherwise we are held victim to other people’s views of the world. It may even be the views of people that we love, but the reality is it is still their view and not our own. We did not previously have a choice. As adults we have the choice.
We have the choice to accept ourselves just as we are. We have the choice to support ourselves in our healing. Seeking professional help if we need some support in understanding, and exploring options or strategies that we have not learned.
We have the responsibility as we get stronger to determine and establish our own boundaries in order to maintain our wishes. As we do so, we will know that we have been successful when we are finally okay with cutting off whatever doesn’t feel right in your life. You treat everyone with the same amount of love and respect, but now you also know that your time and feelings are just as valuable as any other’s.
Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.
Self-love means understanding and forgiving yourself, just like you’d do with your loved ones. Loving yourself will make you happier, your life easier, and you’ll finally be able to chase your dreams, but with much more energy and confidence this time around.
I wish you well on your journey, and hope that this year brings much Self Love. I believe in You!