Sometimes Adulting can be hard! I have struggled with this concept for some time, and think that I am getting closer to understanding why it is important to meet Anger with an Open Heart. But believe me, it is not easy.
The world around us feels very Angry right now. And it is filled with FEAR. I realize however that a lot of this Anger and FEAR is manufactured for the purposes of individuals trying to garner a following, and push their own agendas. I also know that the Medicine for FEAR is love, and this neutralizes it’s affects. So I have been trying to keep my heart open, even when I feel the anger or FEAR building.
Keeping your heart open when those that are stoking the Anger are rampant, and the sociopaths are out in full force does not indicate that you approve of what they are doing. It simply indicates that you are not willing to join their following of adding to the Anger and Fear.
When I get angry, Fearful, sad or overwhelmed, I am very tempted to shut down, to guard my heart. Protect myself from being wounded further. I am tempted to pull away from people, and to find reasons to dislike the people who are lashing out and blame them for the problems in the world.
I also know that in order to weather the reaction, it is imperative that I dare to meet it with an open heart. It’s the hardest choice to make when I’m angry, but the more open my heart, the less likely I am to let anger and fear get bigger.
“We are so unused to emotion that we mistake any depth of feeling for sadness, any sense of the unknown for fear, and any sense of peace for boredom.” Mark Nepo
I have to dig deep to remember that these people are all responding to their own fears in the way that makes sense to them. Extending compassion does not mean that I agree with them or that I justify their actions, it means that I need to open my heart enough to see what is causing the hurt that has turned them into the people that they are.
Fear changes us. It makes us fierce in ways that surprise and scare us. Most of us are not behaving at our best when we are fearful. Fear left unchecked, can turn into Anger.
I know from my research that we build resilience when we respond to fear and anger with an open heart. Daring to be open to people’s stories and vulnerable with our own. We can sometimes find common ground, and help another deal with their fear.
“Fear gets its power from our not looking, at either the fear or what we are afraid of”. Mark Nepo
Anger can be constructive, if used properly. It is an integral part of our fight or flight mechanism. It was a requirement for our survival in the past and can have some positive value in our present lives, as well. The motivation for action that anger provides can move us towards reaching our goals. It encourages us to fix the wrongs that we see in the world, in an effort to make it right.
And understanding all this, I will strive to try to meet those that are angry, fearful and hurting with the open heart of a healer. Knowing that in order to behave in the abominable ways that they do, that they must be hurting. I will try to greet them in the hurting, knowing that we all have our wounds, are all flawed, and mostly all doing the best that we can?
I will try to find it within my heart to open when I feel inclined to close. I refuse to meet them with Anger or Fear in return. I will do my best to model empathy and compassion, so that they may feel heard.
May we meet the world with more Love and Compassion, to counter the Anger and Fear!
I vow to at least give it a try.
Love and Light.